In order to train your brain how to live out your ideal week, a good place to begin is to tell yourself the truth.
John (not his real name) hired me as his coach during the time he had lost his job and was looking for a new one.
I noticed that John would come to each session saying some form of this statement: “I’m never going to find a job.”
Even when I’d use normal coaching techniques like powerful questions or direct communication in response, John couldn’t seem to move away from this mindset.
So, by the third or fourth session, I knew it was time to try something different.
Excerpt from coaching session:
Coach: May I make an observation?
Coach: You’ve come to every coaching session saying you’re never going to find a job.
John: Well, it’s true.
Coach: May I take off my coaching hat, for a moment, and share what I know?
John: Please do. I need help.
Coach: You’re probably right. You’re probably never going to find a job.
John: What? You mean you also think I’m never going to find a job? I hired you to help me.
Coach: No, it’s not what I believe. I do believe you can find a job. But if you keep telling yourself “I’m not going to find a job” I’m concerned you may not. As long as you keep telling yourself that, it’s true. You’re right because our brains begin to believe what we tell them. Every time you say that to yourself, you’re basically reinforcing “the truth.”
John: Okay, well then what should I do? Tell myself the lie that I will find a job even though it’s clear I’m not getting offers?
Coach: No, that’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m going to put my coaching hat back on now. John, what is true in your situation?
John: With so many jobs out there, it is possible I’ll find a job.
Coach: What might happen if you got up every morning and told yourself exactly that?
John: I don’t know but I’d like to try it.
Coach: Sounds like you have a solid action step.
End of coaching excerpt
As John completed his action step each day, he became encouraged to revisit the materials he had found and completed around creating your ideal week.
John’s ideal week contained specific goals related to finding a job, but he realized he had not been taking many steps toward his goals because he’d become so convinced he would never find a job.
But then things changed.
Within three months, as he worked toward living out his ideal week, telling himself that with so many jobs out there it was possible he’d find a job…
John did find a job.
How can you train your brain to live your ideal week?
What’s one goal that seems unattainable?
How can you tell yourself truth and work toward creating and living out your ideal week?